Balancing Act: Navigating in-home care for an independent parent

As parents age, many families face the challenge of providing support to help them maintain their independence and remain in their own homes. The decision often requires a collaborative effort from the entire family. It also means the people providing support must perform a balancing act in their own lives, and that’s not always an easy thing to do.

Sandy’s 97-year-old mother lives in her own house and is a Brightwater at Home client.  Sandy and his brother supplement her in-home care with weekly support to help her live as independently as possible. Despite her age, Sandy’s mum is a fiercely independent woman who insists on having as much autonomy in her life as possible.

“Mum’s got just the two of us,” Sandy said. “But if the word retirement village or nursing home is mentioned in her presence, she’ll slap you in the face. She’s not interested in being anywhere other than by herself.”

The two brothers have a good relationship with their mother and with each other, which is helpful when difficult decisions have to be made.

“Saturday morning we both go to her place and spend half a day with her. We take her shopping and take care of anything that’s needed around the house,” Sandy says.

In addition to these regular visits, Sandy’s mother joins his family for dinner every Wednesday, and his brother picks her up from the Italian club she attends on Sundays and the two of them go get something to eat.

Learning about in-home support for the first time

The family first learned about ACAT (Aged Care Assessment Team) referrals and the various levels of assistance available when his mother broke her leg a few years ago. Prior to that, Sandy’s mother had only received support from the basic Commonwealth Home Support Programme (CHSP).

“It was only when she was rehabilitating at the hospital that we were asked about an ACAT referral. I told them, ‘I don’t know anything about that,’” Sandy said.

After learning more about ACAT and going through the assessment process, Sandy’s mother was approved for a Level 4 Home Care Package (HCP), providing her with nearly $60,000 worth of services annually. The family chose Brightwater at Home to deliver her services.

“Being a large and established business over a long period of time, Brightwater gave us confidence they were able to support Mum in a lot of ways,” Sandy said.

Daily support and social engagement

Sandy’s mother receives daily support from Brightwater at Home. She also attends a multicultural centre twice a week, which is a vital part of her social life.

“Someone helps her have a shower and get dressed every day of the week, around seven o’clock in the morning,” Sandy said.

“She has a cleaner come once a week. Once a month she has a gardener come around and also gets podiatry services.

“The most important thing for Mum when starting with Brightwater was that she could continue to attend the multicultural centre she goes to twice a week,” Sandy said.

“She loves her social network to bits. She loves playing cards with a bunch of Italian ladies all speaking the same language. Italian’s her first language so it’s great for her.”

Meeting the challenges of providing support in the home

While Sandy and his brother have a good relationship and share the responsibilities of caring for their mother, Sandy knows not all families are as fortunate.

It’s not unusual that families need to have difficult conversations when supporting a parent or loved one who is ageing at home. Brightwater at Home Coordinator Dina Moghrabi  stresses the importance of family being involved in providing care, especially in the earlier stages of in-home care when HCP support is lower.

Dina kicks off a new engagement by scheduling a meeting with the client and their family to decide what support the family wants to give and what services Brightwater at Home can provide.

“In our initial meeting, we discuss all the services we’ve got,” Dina says. “The family can let us know what they need now and what they can do,” Dina said.

“The family and carers act as a team to provide all the in-home support necessary.”

“Let’s say we have a client and she’s had an ACAT assessment for Level Two. The daughter may do the showering for Mum, and we’ll help by taking her out shopping while the daughter is at work,” Dina said.

“We’ll take her to GP appointments. If she needs nursing, like if she needs dressing on a wound changed and the daughter cannot be there to do it, we help with that.”

Legal considerations that assist in-home care

Dina emphasises the importance of having legal protection in place when a parent or loved one begins to receive care.

“Everyone works as a team to support clients live the life they love in their own home. Having family involved helps expand that team,” Dina said.

“It’s not required to have a guardian to receive home care services, however in some situations it can make some processes smoother.”

Sandy agrees. His family addressed the legal aspects of their mother’s care.

“We’ve got the power of guardianship and power of attorney,” Sandy said.

Balancing care for your parent and caring for yourself

Supporting a loved one at home can be challenging and family members and carers need to look after their own wellbeing. Sandy and his brother are fortunate that they and their spouses and children are all involved in helping to care for their mum.

“It doesn’t cause hardship for us, but it does change your life,” Sandy said.

Advice for families new to in-home care

Sandy suggests families with ageing parents learn about what services and support options are available as soon as possible.

“Speak to My Aged Care. I knew nothing about ACAT referrals or the levels of support available to my mum,” Sandy said.

“Mum had been on a CHSP since around the time my father passed away in 2007. There were many years she would have benefitted from more support, but we just weren’t aware.”

Supporting a fiercely independent parent at home can be a challenging but rewarding experience for everyone. Teaming up with Brightwater at Home and sharing responsibilities with family members helps older people maintain independence and continue to engage in activities they love.

If you are interested in receiving Brightwater at Home services, give us a call on 1300 223 968 or email [email protected].